when i was in high school my mom asked me to order a pizza for the family on a friday night i looked up the phone number in the phone book and promptly handed the phone to my older brother to place the call i was too shy to talk to a stranger fast forward to college at the university of illinois my first time away from my small town i spent the first several weeks crying in my dorm room too homesick to partake in early freshman partying the one frat party i did attend was so disappointing i wanted to trade in my books abandon my major and head back home to my small town the confident behaviors i needed to pursue this stream were not yet available .
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and when i looked around at the confident students walking around me around campus heads held high pursuing a dream that they had set out to achieve i wanted that kind of confidence too but my behaviors did not align with these confident attitudes crying in my dorm room shying away from social engagement not showing up for class because i was worried others were smarter than me these were not going to lead me to achieve my goal so i knew is that i needed to change research tells us that in order to get people to change you need to not start with the attitudes but with the behaviors associated with those attitudes when people can see themselves behaving differently they get then begin to act differently so the questions for me were who am i who do i want to become and how does this person i want to become behave the answers were that i wanted a successful career one that meant something allowed me to contribute and for me that was defined as a career as a sports executive in order to achieve this goal i needed to begin to act more confidently.